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Des Moines, Iowa
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Worst Fantasy Football Week Ever

Geoff Wood

As the Colts game winds down, I have officially conducted what may be the worst coaching job in fantasy football, ever.


My team, The Trailer Park Girls(1), are the reigning SuperBowl runners-up in the B Street Fantasy Football league. I don't coach them particularly well but i do scout quite a bit for the draft(2), pay attention to bye weeks and look for upgrades throughout the season. B Street is a pretty easy going league and that's just fine with me.

However, I didn't do so hot this week. This was a big bye week for my team so I was operating on a skeleton crew and when I set the roster on Friday everything looked good. However, as I took to the interstates on Sunday morning to drive home I realized that Reggie Bush and Kellen Winslow were listed as "out". I threw in a backup RB but my backup TE was on bye so I was stuck.

Winslow - 0 points

Steven Jackson and Derrick Mason were listed as questionable and despite my hope that they would play - they did not.

Jackson - 0 points
Mason - 0 points

My starting QB, Ben Roethlisberger, put up a whopping 5 points. My defense, those blokes in Tampa Bay, put up 9 points. That's bad but at least its points. Perhaps I should have played their backups who combined for a freakin' 48 points.

Yep, 48 points for those two guys on my bench. That 48 on my bench is directly equal the total number of points my whole starting team earned this week. Geesh. I've averaged ~105 points so far this season.

My final hope for a 7th straight victory was to have my opponent have a terrible week. It looked good, he started Purple Jesus(3) from the Vikings who is on bye this week. Unfortunately the paltry 63 points he earned (which is also quite terrible) is still 15 points to many.

Trailer Park Girls now 7-2.

(1)As mentioned before, we go 'round the outside. (2)Easily an hour of prep work. (3)Adrian Peterson