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Why I Hate Brett Favre

Geoff Wood

I haven't posted in awhile due to school and work commitments and whatnot but in watching the Vikings decimate themselves at Lambeau Field this afternoon I was motivated out of pure spite to put some feelings into words:

Why I Hate Brett Favre by WoodToYourMoms

I hate Brett Favre. I think I've always hated Brett Favre. The only time I remember having any remotely positive feelings towards Brett Favre was his surprise appearance in the movie "There's Something About Mary" as the Brett who plays football from up North. And that was only the first time I watched it, subsequent viewings returned to me hating Brett Favre(1).

I knew I was in for a rough one today when the Vikings played at the Packers. I have a lot of Economics work to do for class tomorrow so I decided to maximize my time by TiVo'ing the game and working on Econ until about 1.5 hours into play so that I could fast forward through all the commercials, half time, and the incessant praise of Brett Favre from the announcers. This, apparently, has been required in between each and every play during each and every Packers game since the mid-1990s.

This worked fairly well. Despite the Vikings total lack of ability I was able to calmly watch the game. Adrian Peterson's "Purple Jesus"(2) rushing performance last week against the Chargers aside, the Vikings aren't good. I didn't expect them to win. As the Vikes shot themselves in the foot time and time again in the first half the Packers were the obvious benefactors (being the other team on the field and all).

I'm not sure the exact timing, probably shortly after half, but the "calm" watching of the game left me - because of Brett Favre. I was able to ignore most of the Favre superlatives until the old man takes off on a run and decides to slide at the last second (while two Viking defenders are on top of him). Immediately the officials throw a couple flags and the replay shows that the defenders barely touched Favre. It certainly wasn't helmet-to-helmet or anything vicious. Result? 15 yard penalty on the Vikings for unsportsman-like conduct. Sweet. Does this happen so automatically with any other QB? No (despite what Packer fans or the NFL will proclaim).

Another good one was when Favre steps back into the pocket, falls down and attempts to throw the ball while laying on the ground. Delay of game penalty on Favre? Nope, chuckles from the announcers on how "crafty" the veteran is. What if Kevin Williams had come through and knocked him silly as he layed on the ground? I'm guessing 15 yard penalty.

It's the dumb things like this that Favre gets away with that probably make me hate him the most. I remember a game a couple years back where the Packers are driving for the win against the Vikings. Packers are in the red zone, Favre can't find an open man so he scrambles and starts to run, he crosses the line of scrimmage and then tosses the ball to a WR in the end zone. The Vikings point out that he's across the line, the officials think about it realize it's true and call the penalty. Favre smiles. Announcers laugh - that crazy Favre! He tried to sneak one there! Ha! Ha! He's denied on the next play and the Vikings win. No criticism that Favre cost his team the game by the greedy illegal throw rather than just scrambling another yard or two for the First Down. After all, he's Brett Favre!

About this time the kind folks at Fox decide that the Vikings are so inept that they're going to switch viewers to a more competitive game. Damn, I don't want a "more competitive game", I want my game, the only game I dedicate time out of my week to watch(3). So I flip over to the the NFL Sunday Ticket pay-per-view channels I subscribe to (its really something to pay to watch these Vikings lose) so that I can catch the end and an entire hour of the game has already gone by between the moment Fox switched and where the game is live(4). I find the channel just in time to see a terrible throw by Favre to the end zone where two Vikings run into each other going for the pick and the ball bounces off their hands and directly to a Packer waiting in the corner about seven yards away. Touchdown, that crafty Brett Favre!

I turn off the game.

What has Favre done to deserve this praise?

It must be his Super Bowl win. You remember that, right, 12 years ago when he lead the Packers to a Super Bowl win? That must be it - I'm sure all QBs who win the Super Bowl get this type of affection from announcers, officials, and the NFL.

Nah, Trent Dilfer won his Super Bowl only 7 years ago and he got cut right away.

I guess it's because he's just played a really, really long time. He's having a good season so far this year (thank you, Minnesota Vikings) but has been fairly terrible for the past several years. It certainly is impressive albeit somewhat selfish (ask Aaron Rodgers what he thinks) but other guys have played a long time, too, so that can't be it alone.

Though it feels fairly Rush Limbaugh to say it, I think whomever wrote this fake newstory might have something going: Romo Receives Contract Extension; Favre Allowed to Retire

Clown shoes = Brett Favre

(1)I don't particularly like Ben Stiller, either, so I always hoped that Woogie or Tucker/Norm get's Mary in the end. (2)Not my nickname for him, but I like it. (3)Including determining we go to morning church or evening church (Purple Jesus would be proud, not sure what real Jesus thinks - based on this game he may be a Packer fan). (4)Things like this are the reason I can't really trust TIVO to just record away with out monitoring it - someone at DirecTV should figure this out